Heart Breaker

I don’t know.
It seems that you have cast me in the role of “heart breaker.”
Maybe I am deserving, after years of making you feel like you can’t get over me
But what about the things you did?
Lying, cheating, leaving, returning, telling me to leave
You told me to leave, so I left
Now, I am the bad guy for leaving
It’s all so confusing and wrong
Am I happy with life? Ecstatically so.
Do I have regrets? Not many.
So what of this hold we have over each other?
After all this time, isn’t your arm tired of carrying that burned out torch?
Just as when we were together, your ideal cannot possibly match up to reality
You put me on a pedestal, and the fall was long and humiliating, and caused earthquakes.
I glued those shattered remains back together as best I could, but there were chunks missing and still others rearranged
I was different.  Changed,
My eyes were reconstructed with lenses that saw our life differently than before
I had to leave - not because I didn’t love you, but because I didn’t love me.
You say that you still love me, have never stopped.
What am I supposed to do with that?  Where does that fit in? 
And this is how the one with the broken heart becomes the heart breaker, by continuing to live and function and not remain broken
Would you feel the same if I was still that broken pile of marble on the floor?  or would you have swept me up and discarded me long ago?
I just don’t understand how YOU get to be the one hurting in all of this?  After all that was said, all that was done, all the ways you tried to destroy me? 
How is it that I am now the one to carry the burden of your broken heart?
You loved me
You loved me how you needed to love
Not how I needed to be loved
You needed so much more from my love than I was able to offer